Disclaimer: If you don't want to read about my experience with what you might consider "new-age" nonsense regarding aura colours, please stop reading. You'll just be disappointed that I'm being such a flake in buying into this particular nonsense.

My roommate and I spent the evening together tonight and we just hung out in his room and looked at his books and talked. It was great.

We ended up going through a book about auras and figuring out what colour of our auras. Turns out I'm blue with a physical tan overlay. That's all well and good, but I suppose you're wondering the same thing I was wondering at this point - what does that mean? This is where the evening got creepy. This book managed to put things into words that I was never able to about myself just by labelling me "blue" after answering 98 questions. [The book can be obtained by visiting the local independent store Witches' Brew on Broadway Avenue near 12th St.]

I'm not going to put the whole schpiel in here about a "blue," just the parts that I found interesting or creeped me out with its accuracy. I know what you're thinking - these things work on a basis of generalities that could apply to anyone. Not so with this one, my friend. Not so. There are 14 pages worth of description of a blue and maybe only half a page doesn't apply to me, and it's all very explicit and gives examples.

The line, "Blues tend to live in the realm of emotions and feelings, which are more real to them than the external environment," really hit home for me. My roommate puts it as thought I am living on the outside of my skin. Either way, I had never fully realized that - I knew it, but I'd never totally accepted it as being okay. My possessions are only for other people to enjoy. One of the big reasons I wanted a big house was so that I always had room for whoever needed a safe place to go.

"Love, hate, hope, despair-these are everyday facts of life for Blues. Emotions are the data base on which they make decision and take actions." This is one of those lines that explains something that I've never been able to put into words. I've always thought of myself as irrational because of this. My decisions and reactions are not based on the environmental data, but on my feelings about them. In some cases, I just have to apologize to whomever is on the receiving end of one of my rants because I know the source of my rant isn't something anyone else can understand. I just realized (6 days later) that this statement gave me confidence to live my life the way I need to in order to be happy. What an empowering revelation!

"The hardest lession for Blues to learn is that they will have nothing to give others unless they first give to themselves." Welcome to my life in Calgary for 8 months. That was the first time I moved to Calgary in 1996. I hit rock bottom that winter. There was nothing left for me because I'd given it all away. It was awful for me being in it and even worse for my mom who couldn't do anything to help me. I actually ended a friendship because I couldn't keep enough of myself and still be a friend to her. I still have a hard time today with this because I feel that I'm being too selfish by taking time for myself.

"Blues express their emotions through the language of laughter and tears, both of which bubble to the surface easily and quickly, much to the Blues' embarrassment. This is not an affectation, but rather the spontaneous release of pent-up emotion that, if kept inside, would cause physical problemslike headaches." I really don't need to speak to this quote at all except that a dear, dear friend of mine once pointed at the colour purple and said, "Look, Suzi, the colour purple. ... Puuurrple ..." and had me in fits of giggles and red-faced, dying of embarrassment. [le sigh]

One of the other things that reading about being a Blue is being able to recognize them around me. There is a woman I work with who I am quite sure is a Blue. My mom is very likely a Blue as well. I appreciate these people so much and I don't know how to thank them enough for being a part of my life because they are an inspiration to me.

And in all this, I haven't even mentioned the Physical Tan overlay. The overlay is essential a person's developed defense mechanisms to help them cope with reality. Shockingly enough, it's a physical colour whereas Blue is an emotional colour. It being the overlay means that I only take bits and pieces of this personality to help me cope with the areas I'm weak with in my Blue - the approach to the physical reality mostly. I've tried for years to train myself to process data without my emotions and feelings because I assumed that's how the rest of the world handled it. I'm happy with what I've learned about that part of me too.

At the beginning of this, I mentioned that my roommate and I did this together. I'm not going to say what he is because that's his to tell. I will say that I have a better understanding of why we are friends and why he reacts the way he does to things and especially the way he reacts to me.

And lastly, I would like to sincerely thank Dr. Barbara Bowers, Ph.D. for writing "What Color Is Your Aura?" in 1989 and making a difference in how I see myself and others in my life. And if I've overstepped any copyright laws that I'm ignorant of, please someone tell me so that I can not do that.