Yesterday afternoon, in between some event or another related to Drang & Sally's wedding, I was questioning the role I play in my social circle. I believe I was musing this to Cheruby, but it really could have been anybody. In large groups, I don't contribute a lot to conversation and I'd rather just be off having a conversation with one person about something close to me. I don't have a lot of education so I don't like to participate in intellectual conversations because my knowledge of subjects is typically shallow and new concepts need to needle into my brain before I can discuss them with any confidence. I haven't many hobbies that interesting enough to talk about for more than three minutes and my job is as a manager which has challenges similar to every other manager job making it not that discussion worthy either. Having said all that, I don't feel completely out of place. I just like to be surrounded by my people and be able to put a smile on their face in whatever small way I can - either with a beer in hand or laughing a joke (rarely ingeniously if ever) or any other small attention that lets my people know I care. I used to be better at small talk and being "on" but fell out of practice and some lost desire to be able to make small talk. Then Drang, just a few hours later, paid me a very good compliment by echoing my thoughts. Just after I'd started into a fit of giggles about some silly joke someone told and had to repeat, "This is why we like having Suzi around. Just a little thing and you get rewarded with that laugh." Or something like that. It made me happy. I think I cried.

I was very tired yesterday and cried tears of joy about at least a dozen times including 3 times during the wedding ceremony including during the strip show as laughter is a release, once when I hugged Drang, once when I hugged Sally five seconds later, and twice when I was driving a friend from work to the reception. There many more times of tears, especially in talking with one of my best friends who I rarely get to talk to anymore because of location and being so busy.

And just so I don't forget. The JP was on Quaaludes and it felt a bit like Romper Room. I see cenobyte and his nibs and sprogs and r:tag and tuo and buttery b and mr. tall and furlak and bne and... and it was good. [sniff]