Let's start with the fact that I loved the homemade red wine, a French Merlot. I didn't try the white.

The first course was the roast suckling pig on a bed of jellyfish. Never had jellyfish? Well, let me save you the trouble. Chewy, rubbery and crunchy all at the same time with very little actual flavour except the sesame oil in which it was cooked. The skin of the pig was very crunchy.

Course two was my favourite of the evening if you don't include the sweets. It was a birdsnest made from deep fried grated potatoes bits on a bed of lettuce with lemon slices and marishino cherries for garnish. Inside the birdsnest was scallops, shrimp, squid with mixed vegetables of carrots, celery, snow peas, and mushrooms. I didn't have the shrimp or the squid, but the scallops were yummy as were the veggies I ate which excluded the mushrooms. There was some sort of sauce of course, but I can't really describe the taste.

Shrimp balls with crab claws came next. The crab claw was good, but I didn't care for the texture of the shrimp ball. It was about as big as a squished baseball. I think there were either noodles or coconut bits deep fried on the outside of the ball.

The fourth course was the shark fin soup. It had crab meat and shark fin in it, but tasted mostly like the sauce on the birdsnest.

Somewhere in those first four courses, cognac was served and we discussed how much our friend, the bride, looked like Lucy Lui.

Next came the fried crispy noodles with chopped up lobster bits with cream sauce on top. I had a lobster claw and some noodles. Not being a big fan of lobster, it was okay, but others were loving it. The lobsters' beady eyes were looking at me funny.

I will be trying to forget course six for a long time. There was a gelatinous, bland seafood of some sort which we learned later on was sea cucumber. Very large mushroom caps and sliced mushroom caps that looked like meat slices were the other main parts of the dish. Thank goodness for the delicious baby bok choy in this dish otherwise I'm not sure I would have made it through. Well, that and the whole glass of wine I downed with this dish.

It was about now in the evening that the head table guests at the wedding came around to every table to thank us for coming. Lucy Lui had changed a course or so before this into her red dress from her white dress. I had some time to let my tummy settle after those mushrooms. Bleargh.

The seventh course was an almost whole (no head or feet) roasted chicken chopped up into bits. I had some breast. There were a few people at the table who'd had very little to eat to this point. There were also some tasty styrofoam chips that were white and pink that came with the chicken. I have no idea what they really were and I'm pretty sure I don't want to know.

A whole pickerel was next on the chopping block. It's beady eyes were also staring at me and were definitely worse than the lobster beady eyes. Funny, rolly-poll fish heads just occurred to me now. Anyway, the fish was alright, just seemed to greasy to be good.

Course nine was seafood fried rice with shrimp and scallop bits. Familiar and therefore a favourite at the table as well.

The tenth course was the final real food course before dessert. Noodles with small mushrooms slices. This dish tasted like sesame too.

Next came cookies which were very sweet. Well, one was very sweet and yummy and the other was covered in sesame seeds and was a bit cake-like and less sweet.

Lastly, cake was our twelfth course. It wasn't the real wedding cake as there wasn't enough to go around, but the CostCo slab cake was treat enough after the evening of uncertain food adventures. The real wedding cake would have been far better. Three layers with the top layer being marble chocolate and vanilla cake with chocolate filling, middle layer being chocolate cake with vanilla filling and bottom layer being vanilla cake with raspberry filling.

Other highlights of the evening were applause at the bride's eyebrows being waxed (she's really not a girly-girl) and the blind-folded groom going after the garter with chopsticks.

Thanks for being such a great date, neuba.