Staring at the Differences

Staring is wrong. It makes people uncomfortable. Don't do it.

How am I supposed to learn about my world if I can't look at it?

So, I am trying to find a way to look with the compassion and acceptance of whatever it is I am seeing.

We equate staring with judgment. It's true. I am judging. Her skin is a different colour than mine. It's beautiful. I wonder why the genetics of that physical trait developed. I want to ask what their experience has been like.

But that's not allowed either. I'm lazy for not doing my own research because someone out there has already shared their experience.

I stayed hidden in my house, not looking, because somehow, it became unsafe to look. And by extension, it became unsafe to be seen.

I think you have a story and I might stare to see if I can experience your world for just a second. It broadens my human experience to know that yours is different. It also makes me feel not alone to wonder if you've had the same struggles as me with loving myself.

I stare because I don't get to see a person that looks like you often. You want to poke my fat rolls? They're jiggly and a little fun. It's hard to see that when the world condemns.

I stare with the wonder of a child. You are a whole magical universe that is so new to me, I have to stare.

I don't want to apologize. I don't feel like I'm doing anything wrong, but I am told that I am so I apologize. It's never good enough. I cross the line of appropriate behaviour.

I want it to be okay to look. And be seen.

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I'm quirky, confident and happy. My friends say I'm generous, warm, reliable, and dependable. My mom, dad, and angel say I'm beautiful. I'm not perfect, but that makes me human.

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