Stop The World, I'm Getting Off

I was talking to a friend of mine tonight who was saying a lot of things that rang very true to me. I've been there, done that. The best part is that I'm proof that someone can come through the other side of all those feelings and find true happiness and love. It didn't happen all at once, but continually being committed to caring about myself and making sure that I was someone that I love, it eventually happened. And while I had to make all those choices and stick to them, I had a helluva cheering section which makes things just a little bit easier.

I'm not saying things are perfect, but they are very good and getting better. I'll never conquer all the stuff I want to in myself, but I'm never ever going to stop trying. When I ever think that I'm done working on myself, I'll be dead. I can always make a difference and see things from a different perspective. I'll never know every point of view.

The brain is an amazing thing. You can train it to think any way you want just through repetition. Bad things stick easier than good things even when it's "just teasing".

One of the things that I was told about me is that I get over things quickly. And not because I brush things off quickly, because that's certainly not true. I get over things because I either have the choice to dwell on it and let it poison me and bring me down, or I have the choice to get over it and move on and continue being the person I want to be. That isn't to say I forget about those other things, they come back to haunt me when I'm feeling down and give me more reason to feel down. That's the part I need to fight and need my ever present cheering section to help me get through. I can't imagine not having my family and friends supporting me. I certainly wouldn't be where I am without all those wonderful people. They have shown me who I want to be (whether they realize it or not) and helped me figure out how to become that person.

Just tonight, I was talking to my mom. Every now and then, I realize more reasons why my mom is so amazing. Tonight, I stood my ground and made her admit just how rare it is to be as supportive and non-judgmental as she is. I can only hope at this point, that I can be like that. When Cheruby moved in, I was scared that my mom would think less of me. Silly, I know, but I was still worried. I was concerned she would think that I was being blind and taking things too fast because I just wanted to be loved. I guess that I was just thinking about my own insecurities about the situation. She said all the right things as she's very good at that. But then she gave Cheruby a money clip to prepare him for the success he was going achieve. Such a small thing, but so perfect. She effortlessly sees past all the crap and sees that people are just people and everyone, even those that don't act so kindly or react to situations in the best way, deserves the benefit of the doubt. It's one of her first thoughts most of the time even when she's getting the short end of the stick. I love her dearly and am looking forward to spending lots more time with her. She's simply wonderful. The world would be a different place if everyone had a mom like mine.

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neuba said...

A very touching post Suz, thanks!

I believe that it is truly important to continue 'working' on myself. Each and ever day is an adventure...presents an opportunity or a challenge, and it is really how I choose to react and deal with the situation that helps me grow as a person.

I never used to get over things quickly, in fact, I used to dwell on things way too much. But a number of years ago I went through something very difficult and it helped me grow into the strong and confident person I am today. I feel that I have worked very hard to get to the place that I am today, and it can be hurtful when friends say I 'don't care' or 'you don't feel.'

Perhaps to the outside world, it appears that way, but really, I just know how to cope really well with the challenges that I have been presented with. I do my very best to keep a positive attitude about life, I refuse (for the most part) to let stuff get me down for too long, and I utilize healthy coping strategies.

So, when you talk about choices - I completely agree. I would much rather be a happy person and do it myself then wait for happiness to stumble my way or poison my life because I couldn't decide to deal the situation.

I'm with you...I am much happier when I am continually working on improving myself and making the most of my life.

And it definitely helps when you have supportive friends and family.

Jenn & Owen said...

Heh heh heh heh... she said, "Getting off."

What, you were expecting me to contribute something appropriate or insightful?

Suz said...

neuba: Insightful comments, thanks!

J&O: Somebody had to say it. ;)

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I'm quirky, confident and happy. My friends say I'm generous, warm, reliable, and dependable. My mom, dad, and angel say I'm beautiful. I'm not perfect, but that makes me human.

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