Here I am, blogging my last post for NaBloPoMo. I have to say that it's been harrowing and boring and sometime exciting. I very much enjoyed the writing part while in the car on the drive. It felt great to just write and not have to worry about anything else. Unfortunately, without all the hubbub of being on vacation, there wasn't as much to write about after I got back. I also didn't feel as much like spending hours writing because of all the other things in my life that I am doing.

While some people didn't think they'd make it through the month, I never once considered that I wouldn't do it. You see, I was in a competition which means I don't give up. The number of times that my eyes were barely open and it was after 11:30 at night during the month was a little too much. Cheruby was constantly whining for me to come to bed or just playing Oblivion to be "with" me.

The best part about this whole thing was the friendly competition between Rilla and I. And to prove who's better, here's the scoreboard. (A Short Post is less than 300 words, a Moderate Post is 300 to 699 words, and a Long Post is more than 700 words.)

	Rilla	Suz
November 1	315	220
November 2	214	0
November 2	1957	606
November 3	366	402
November 4	461	716
November 5	241	391
November 6	513	0
November 6	650	234
November 7	174	287
November 8	190	153
November 9	559	0
November 9	114	234
November 10	265	1205
November 11	369	893
November 12	369	315
November 13	418	834
November 14	362	359
November 15	697	521
November 16	665	431
November 17	132	203
November 18	154	621
November 19	261	148
November 20	1037	450
November 21	562	556
November 22	811	742
November 23	157	396
November 24	474	136
November 25	251	521
November 26	308	215
November 27	581	310
November 28	175	183
November 29	499	250
November 30	684	749
Total Words	14985	13281
Total Posts	33	30

	Rilla	Suz
Short Posts (5 points each)	36	42
Moderate Posts (10 points each)	108	60
Long Posts (15 points each)	27	54
Posts with Photos (1 point each)	9	3
Fabulous Posts (7 points each)	21	35
Posts Above Mandatory (4 points)	12	0
Posts About NaBloPoMo (-2 points each)	-10	-4
Completion Bonus (25 points)	25	25
Total	228	215

As you can plainly see, the best blogger won here. I thought there was some trickery about in Rilla's blog style. Making stuff up, double posting from another blog (I posted on that other blog too and didn't double post), making promises that weren't kept, taking a post from another friend's blog, and posting about NaBloPoMo itself are most of the shenanigans pulled off by my esteemed competitor in the name of winning. Of course, I am guilty of a few of those myself, but not in the abundance that she had the audacity for.

It's a good thing that all of that means nothing and I love Rilla to bits.

Getting all the figures together for the things I thought were important to blogging, I began to be a little bit more objective. And quite frankly, I'd rather read Rilla's blog than my own. As I mentioned in my Bored Now post, I am essentially lazy and don't want to put in the effort, except that it took over 2 hours to write this post. Rilla, on the other hand, gets a lot more out of creative works and writing. I don't take that for granted just because she's now a Master of English. Most of the time, she really loves it. That makes me happy that she loves it. I remember finding her on the floor in a Chapters pouring over books of poetry and being enthralled by it. I wish I had a picture of that because although most people would just see Rilla sitting on the floor surrounded by books which is happy in itself, I would see Rilla in love and experience that feeling of seeing her again. I sat down next to her wanting to be included in the feeling, but alas, that's not for me. I get my rapture elsewhere. And in fact, it's with me right now in that memory of my dear friend.

This weekend, I will be heading to Nipawin alone. Cheruby has elected to stay in the city to play video games with his cousin. I'm going to be relaxing and being taken care of as soon as I step through the door at my parent's house. I do want to do some crafts with my mom, but we both love it so it'll still be good. I have a bunch of Christmas presents to make in the spirit of saving money. I don't have a lot of spare change this year. Renovations are very pricey. That's okay because most people like to know that there is effort put into their presents.

So, my plan is to drive home in the daylight of Saturday morning and hang out with my folks and their new puppy all weekend. I'm looking forward to meeting the new little one, actually. I'm really hoping that he's cuter than his pictures because he looks very sad. I would be sad too if the comfort of the only people I'd ever known took me away from my mom and left me with people I don't know. He plays a lot more than my parents first dog ever did and eats three times as much.

I'll be home Sunday night with all my finished crafts and be very happy to see my beloved angel.

Oh yeah, and with all the blog disappearances, I have now backed up my blog. It makes me very happy to have done so.

I had the giggles all day today. Everything was making me laugh. Poor Cheruby didn't know what to do with me because he was feeling crappy today. I laughed until my belly hurt at least half a dozen times. It was wonderful.

Work today was oddly productive and I felt like I was accomplishing things which is nice. And then after work, Cheruby and I had a short nap with the cats. We're getting very close to being done a project we've been working on as well. That's exciting.

I've been shoveling or sweeping the snow everyday and have been loving it. Go figure! It's been quite cold out for November and I haven't minded that much.

And then, with Cheruby at band practice tonight, I got to go SHOPPING! I got stocking stuffers and Christmas wear for the kiddenz and Christmas cards and it was a jolly good time! And with Christmas hats and collars on the kiddenz, I don't think this day can get much better. Especially since I'm one day closer to the end of this posting every day thingy.

Cousins are good people to have in our lives. The ties are a mix of friendship and blood which makes it stronger somehow. I have so many cousins that I don't even know them all and that's just first cousins. I don't even want to think about second cousins and cousins removed. Yikes! My mom is the youngest of twelve (gasp!) kids and there are a lot of marriages and kids from there and then my dad has four siblings that have also procreated. It just gets so confusing. I'm just proud of myself that I can remember all my mom's and dad's siblings names. I think I'm almost there with all the spouses of those siblings as well. But the cousins are way out of my league.

So, today, Cheruby's cousin got laid off from his job for the winter. You see, he's in construction. Normally, he'd be able to work, but he did some dumb things and got himself laid off. He first refused to work for a relative of the owner on a particular project because, apparently, the relative was dumb. So, he was transferred to another job site where he had to go up and down an icy hill which was killing his already bad knees. So after a week of that, he refused to work on that project and thusly, is now collecting employment insurance.

After doing these silly things he got a little depressed and called Cheruby to go out there with some video games to comfort him. [sigh] Cheruby can't say no to his cousin so off he went to play video games and get fed by his cousin's wife who loves to cook. I wish I could cut out of work early to go play video games. Cheruby just be putting in the work time on the weekend, I suppose.

Silly cousins.

You know, there are days when I LOVE shopping. Shopping makes me happy because I find things that I like and things that the people I love will like. At Christmas time, I'm allowed to indulge those year round impulses to buy stuff. And when I go shopping early enough, which is within the next two weeks, there aren't enough people in the stores to drive me nutty.

So, tonight, Cheruby and I went shopping. He was acting a little ... unhappy. So I asked if he was Angry and he said yes. It crushed me! Apparently, I was really wanting Cheruby to enjoy Christmas shopping with me. He says that he was just a little irritated, but that's just a degree of anger. I completely agree with that, but anger can range from violent rage to minor annoyance. He was completely willing to just suck it up, but I was so distraught at the thought of him being angry at all with being there that I couldn't even think about enjoying myself.

We'll have to try again because we didn't end up in another store after the first one. I'll have a better expectation next time and hopefully, Cheruby will be able to enjoy himself like he does when he's picking out Matt's Christmas comics.

At a very basic level, I'm lazy. It's the reason I didn't finish university. I can put a lot of different names on that, but really, I wanted to spend time with my friends rather than go to class or study because it was fun and more importantly, easier. I don't regret not finishing university even with the student loans I'm still paying off. I don't feel that I would be in a better place if I had finished. My brother has a degree, but doesn't use it. Cheruby has a degree but doesn't use it. I'm happy with my life.

Part of the reason my neighbour keeps getting upset is because I don't do things RIGHT NOW. Well, I don't have the inclination to do things most of the time. The things to do are nice to haves for me, not necessities. Sure, it would've been easier to prop up the front step a little when the ground wasn't partially frozen, but thems the breaks.

Of course, when I put my mind to something, it's incredibly difficult to try to stop me. Take NaBloPoMo for example. I'm very sorry I ever challenged Rilla. It takes a lot of time to do a proper blog post in my opinion. Most of mine have been half-assed because it's just filling the page, not actually talking about important stuff. Like all the stuff about our vacation to Vancouver. All that could have been happily summarized into one post that people would have been much happier to read. I was so prolific mostly because of all the time in the car while Cheruby was driving, but it wasn't needed.

Yesterday, I totally stole from Rilla and didn't get a single comment about it. That really shows me how much people are caring that I'm writing this much. Trust me, we're in the same boat. We'll be back to our regularly scheduled programming shortly. I still feel guilty about that, by the way.

I would ask for ideas, but I don't really want to just start making stuff up. I'm not that sort of girl. I don't usually find made up stuff funny. Cheruby has been trying to pin down my funny factors. It's mostly absurdity and nonsensical humour but even that can go too far very easily with me. Comedies I've like include "Little Miss Sunshine" and "The Full Monty." These two movies have a real emotional touch to them. That's why I like romantic comedies as well. I'm a sucker for a happy ending.

Cheruby and I have talked about my reluctance to do creative works like writing. I don't want to go through all the effort of creating something and then have other people not see it as beautifully as I do. And being creative is hard and time consuming. I'd rather be lazy and be entertained. Just ask my mom, I've always wanted to be entertained.

Alright, enough blathering for today. Only 5 more days to go. And I'm not going to take it personally that no one wants to know the things I think about them from yesterday's stolen post. ;)

And from the incredible, undeniable, one-and-only Rilla:

Binary Kitten drew me into an LJ meme which I shall have to adapt somehow to make sense for my bloggery.

If you comment, I will...

1. Tell you how we met (online or otherwise).
2. Associate you with something - fandom, a song, a colour, a photo, etc.
3. Tell you something I like about you.
4. Tell you a memory I have of you.
5. Ask something I've always wanted to know about you.
6. Tell you my favorite user pic of yours, or photo if you don't have one.
7. In return, you must post this in your blog (if you want).

I tried last night to find the one similar to this that cenobyte did months and months ago but couldn't find it in her archives.

Nothing seemed quite right today. I woke up with a headache. It wasn't bad headache but should have been bearable. The slightly not right belly wouldn't normally even be worth a mention. The sluggishness seemed to be fused with my limbs rather than just resting there. And the morning fog in my brain refused to lift. I tried to work for 2 and a half hours like that. I could barely carry on a conversation. I was just closing down when a fellow manager phoned me and I couldn't keep it together - I was so close to tears. What the HELL?!?!

Apparently, I was a real kicker last night in my sleep. I kept waking Cheruby up with kicking him. That's not nice. And then, I apparently rolled completely on top of him. How on earth did I sleep through that? And besides, that's not an easy feat for me. I try to do that when I'm teasing him about taking up too much of the bed and I can't. Of course, normally, I'm laughing too hard.

I like to blame dear luna for these things and so I will again. It's a full moon tonight.

After shutting off my work computer, I went straight to bed and slept for another 3 hours. I woke up a few times with kittens sleeping on me, but I'm cool with that. In fact, it made it better. Of course, the best thing about the nap was Cheruby curled up next to me and holding me. It was like he was holding me together when the world was trying to rip me apart.

I woke up still with the headache, but the fog had lifted a little. My arms and legs felt like they could move more and my belly was just feeling hungry which is more normal. I went back to work because I could do that when it's across the hall.

Cheruby resumed the laundry and made us something to eat. That helped with the headache a little more and removed the rest of the sluggishness. And then he phoned an agent and left a message for her. I really hope that he gets a return phone call. He was so nervous about it.

And now it is evening and I am home alone with my thoughts. It's good and I'm thankful the day is almost over.

I'll tell you what's wrong with it as there are several things.

Let's start with Susan vs. Suzanne. These are two different names and they are pronounced differently as well. Yes, they are similar, but Susan ends in a schwa ə sound for the a before the n. Whereas in Suzanne, you are pronouncing the a as a short a ă as in Anne. This difference in vowel pronunciation affects the en sound at the end of each name. I've always thought that the ə + n sounds lazier than the ă + n sound.

Then we can talk about the middle s in Susan vs. the z in Suzanne. They both sound the same, but I prefer the z for spelling and aesthetic reasons. I like zeds in general as they aren't as commonplace as esses. This my nickname, Suzi, look less sissyish. Check out Susi. Try putting a soft ess sound for the second ess there. It just doesn't work. With the zed, there is no confusion.

Now, let's talk about my last name. Short e Ĕ, two ens, ess. I happen to like it a lot for its brevity. When people see it written, they rarely mispronounce or maim it. I don't think I can recall a time that someone has actually. However, saying it so that someone can write it down is almost impossible which makes identifying myself over the phone quite difficult sometimes. Those most difficult times are also marked by the person trying to understand my last name having a different first language than English and I'm going by my nickname instead of my given name.

You see, my nickname runs into my last name in a sometimes very confusing way - suzienns. I have to pause longer than usual in between my first and last name than I would for others like my angel. With vowel sounds, ē and ĕ, together, it doesn't create a natural pause as most other names. It could have something to do with them both being ee sounds as well. I have developed a particular way of speaking and spelling my informal name that lends itself to be more easily understood which helps me not be frustrated with them. I say my nickname, then spell it. Then I pause for a moment. This pause is very important for processing that what comes next is going to be a new word. I then say my last name, pause again, and spell my last name. I also pause after the first letter of my last name to give it more emphasis that it is its own letter before continuing with the last three letters. That is the most effective way to do it. I can usually gauge the perceptiveness of the person I'm speaking to and can vary the above process up a little and remove explanatory bits to shorten it up a bit. Sometimes it backfires and I have to do it more than once.

I very naturally have developed the best way to spell my name out loud to avoid confusion over the years. My friend TUO wouldn't know about any of these difficulties as she'd never experienced them. And then she made a phone call for me to confirm a reservation. She was quite frustrated by the end of the call because it took her about 5 minutes to get the woman to spell my name properly to find my reservation. Her comment as she hung up the phone was, "Did I not say the E?!?" It was then I truly realized the importance of my method and sympathized with her frustration.

The only place I go by my given name is at work and other professional settings. In these settings, I'm able to write my name down myself or email someone where my full name is spelled out in the email address. When verbally providing my work email address, the underscore in the middle between my first and last names provides the pause necessary for the recipient to process the initial E in my last name properly.

The only other thing is that there are TWO ens in my last name. People like to sometimes only hear one.

And I'm not even going to get into how lucky I am that my first name rhymes with a female body part.

After all that, let me tell you one other thing. I like my name. It's interesting and gives me something to rant about.

There are very few people is no one that can do what she does for me.

It took me about five minutes to write that sentence. I don't know if I can describe my mom and what she means to me. I don't know if there are enough words to capture every nuance of why I love her so much.

Yesterday, the woman who wants to help me asked what I used to do to feel better before Cheruby was here. And one of the answers was, "Call my mom." And that made me a little sad. And then she asked me if I could still do that and of course I can. And then, in my head, all these crazy thoughts started whirling about. Like, "Why don't I call my mom? Oh yeah, because I want Cheruby to be able to be there for me instead. It's better. But why not still call my mom? It doesn't take anything away from Cheruby, really. And it does me a world of good. But what happens when she's not there anymore? ... " And then I started paying attention to the conversation in the room again because I didn't want to think about it anymore.

I'm very scared about that someday when she isn't there anymore. I don't know when that will be but I'm trying to grow up and not need my mommy anymore. I haven't been that successful. I didn't even realize I was doing it. I don't want to cut her out of my life. I want her to be a big part of it but it's going to hurt so bad when she goes.

And today, I was talking to my friend whose parents have been in and out of the hospital all year. I haven't seen her in a while because she's been taking care of her mom and dad while her mom recovers from heart surgery. She's having a really hard time watching her parents grow old. I don't think my parents are even close to that yet and I'm already really scared of it and pulling away. That's really not cool at all.

My mom phoned me today at work and apparently, they have a new puppy. For almost two weeks now, Zachary Amadeus has been in my parents life. I had no idea until today. Mom wouldn't even have mentioned it except in passing which is how I found out. And why the hell didn't I talk to her in so long? I know I was on vacation when she and dad got the puppy, but dang!

I realize it's not as serious as I think, but it sure is upsetting to realize that I'm scared of relying on her because she won't be here forever. And I know this is going to upset her quite a bit, but she knows I love her to bits. And she knows that there is nothing that would keep her from me or me from her if there was anything really important going on. All I need to do is ask. I really can't think of anything (non-evil) that she wouldn't do for me if I needed it.

And in all of that, I haven't described my mom in any concrete fashion. How do you describe light and goodness and love in physical form?

Today, I revisited someone who wants to help me. And not just help me, but help Cheruby too. It was nice to hear some of the things that I have been asking for to be echoed by someone else. She also made me feel less guilty for what I see as my own faults and especially my temper. She wants to help me with that.

She told me that before I start anything, I need to HALT and examine my motives. I need to ask myself if I'm Hungry and if I am just eat something before continuing. I need to ask myself if I'm Angry and if so, just tell someone that I'm angry and not be ashamed of it and try to hide it. I need to ask myself if I'm Lonely and if I am, reach out to someone like Cheruby or just call my mom. And lastly, I need to ask myself if I'm Tired and if yes, I need to deal with that first either by having a nap or walking around the block a couple times or punch my punching bag. Seems so simple, but in the middle of my emotional vortex, it's hard to stop sometimes.

I admitted today that I'm a little scared of myself sometimes. That's why my punching bag isn't up. The flood of emotion that I get when I hit it is kind of explosive. And rightly so, I guess - I am punching something. But, that's something I need to do to, put up my punching bag and use it. I remember a day when I wasn't feeling sociable - the type of mood where nothing can go well and I was supposed to go gaming with friends. I knew the night would be horrible if I didn't deal with my mood first. I decided to punch it out a little. Within 15 minutes, I was done and out the door with a smile on my face. My neighbour in the apartment building was coming with me and was a little frightened as he'd heard the ruckus, but that quickly faded when he noted how good a mood I was in. The guilt about my temper has been making it worse because I have been trying not to let it out at all instead of dealing with it constructively before it becomes destructive.

When I started writing this post, I was Angry, but didn't know why. I feel better now, but I don't know why. Does it matter or should I try to figure it out so it can maybe help me next time. Or maybe it just matters that I can be honest with myself about how I feel.

I didn't take that many photos from our trip, but I have to say that I'm fairly proud of the ones that I did take. I think my favourite is this one of Cheruby, Kevin, and Matt enjoying their shawarma in a tiny downtown cafe called Babylon Cafe. It is a dish that Cheruby desires often as he fell in love with it in when he lived in Vancouver. He would have one of these cookers in our house if he could.


And a picture of my angel in front of the steam clock.


Here's a merged view of the mountains from the balcony of hotel room in Jasper.


I mentioned the controlled fires on the side of the road on our way into Jasper, but they also had one right next to our hotel. It was huge.


There are a few others that I uploaded to Facebook.

Cheruby's sister gave us a tour of the archives in Alberta on Saturday before we headed home. It was pretty cool. She is filling her head with a lot of information that she will never need again. What parts will be forgotten and what parts will be remembered? How many stories will she know that won't be her own? It's nice to meet people that enjoy their job at a basic level like that.

We were first introduced to the more public area, the Reading Room. There are separate sections in the Reading Room for local history and maps and photographs and encyclopedias and Alberta law books and homestead information. It was a round room with square little off-shoots to the rooms. I liked it. There was a display with World War I letters and documents which included a telegraph advising Mrs. Stanley that the government regretted to inform her that Pte Stanley had been killed in action on such and such a date. It seemed so cold, but that's how it was done. At least they paid for the characters to say, "We regret." Another document was the discharge papers for another soldier on compassionate grounds. I can't help but wonder what qualifies as compassionate grounds for the army during war time.

After the Reading Room, she showed us some of the vaults. We got to see archived stuff from CBC recordings to old manual tax record books (so cool!) to really old long play records to fragile hand-painted glass latern slides of plants to an over-sized photo of the guy that made the lantern slides. The shelving units and banks of lights and the cold storage and everything was so neat and way more high-tech than I would have thought. Of course, there were piles and piles of stuff in the hallways outside the vaults that hadn't been processed yet.

There is the librarian there who decides whether or not a book is historical significant or valuable enough to be stored there. If not, the donor gets to decide what they want done with it. And there are lots of Archivists there that make similar decisions about paperwork and documents and photos that come in. They don't just store government stuff there either. They also store private individual stuff. All the stuff Lando deals with comes in through the private sector.

The coolest thing of all was how truly interested Lando is in pretty much everything in there. Even the boring stuff was kind of interesting. She was so much fun to watch show us things in different vaults and talk about the environmental setting differences for different media and snooping in all the boxes of pictures and records. She was totally into the old fashioned card catalogues that they have. She was telling us about how they were trying to phase them out which is kind of part of her job.

It's also important to note that all the things we looked at are a matter of public record and anyone could ask to look at these things. They just wouldn't have the same experience because they would need to know what they were looking for and we got a personal tour of the facility and got to just poke around.

I have to say that it makes me want to go to the Saskatchewan Provincial Archives and poke around. But what would I poke around for? Lando mentioned that genealogists tend to come in and do research there. They look at the homestead papers and the tax books for counties which I thought was interesting. I should make a trip to Regina with my dad once my brother lives there and we can look into our family.

I am sitting in the car on our way home. We are in Saskatchewan again after being away for 9 days. Cheruby is driving on the snow-wettened highway in between Lloydminster and North Battleford. Hall and Oates' Christmas album is playing. The fields surrounding us are like comforting blankets welcoming us back to where we belong.

We are missing the cats more than ever today. Thinking about how happy we will be to see them and how happy they will be to see us. The thought that we cleaned the house before we left is just calling us home quicker because we will have no to-do lists to think about until tomorrow and that's only unpacking and doing laundry.

Our plans are all made for when we get back to Saskatoon. We'll quickly unload the car of all the contents. Everything will be unceremoniously dumped onto the kitchen floor to be dealt with later. We'll turn on the fire place and turn up the heat. We'll grab some blankets and pillows and hunker down for the evening on the couch. The television will welcome us home with more stories from our Gilmore Girls. And tonight, we will sleep soundly in our own bed.

Two hours outside Edmonton, I started feeling the urge to skip Edmonton altogether and just go home. Of course, I just learned that I forgot half of my computer power cord in Vancouver. That may have put me in a I-want-to-be-in-the-comfort-of-my-home-with-my-stuff mood. It was plugged in behind a couch and I forgot that bit of it. Something always gets forgotten. I would prefer to have it back as soon as possible, but I may have to wait until Christmas when Matt comes to Saskatoon for the holidays. It's only a month. I have other means of powering my computer. It seems the simplest way to go even though I would really prefer to have it sooner.

Sleeping in a very nice king size bed was fabulous after too many nights on the air mattress. Both Cheruby and I have kinks in our neck and shoulders that need to be worked out. We slept for a blessed 9 hours and just puttered around Jasper until we got bored of that. We would have gone swimming and sat in the jacuzzi, but the pool was closed at our hotel for its annual cleaning. We pouted and could have gone to the neighbouring hotel's pool.

The sun greeted us when we went outside and I didn't realize how much I'd missed having the sun on my face and arms and street in front of me. There were patches of sunshine hitting the mountains which made the trees burst with green. It made me realize just how dreary Vancouver had been. It's funny, I would describe Vancouver as filled with energy, but most of that energy is man-made with neon lights and variety in everything from food to clothes to attitudes. The politest panhandlers I have ever had the pleasure of encountering.

There has been very little wildlife on our drive which was very surprising to me. I really wanted to see more bighorn sheep. Cheruby did get to see a pretty owl today though. We went to a store in Jasper that had some funny boxers. They mostly reminded me of Kaz. Cheruby's favourite had a picture of the train and the words, "TOOT! TOOT!" on it. Heh.

We're staying with the loverly Neuba tonight and hopefully seeing Cheruby's sister for breakfast tomorrow before heading home. The final stretch. Cheruby and I have been talking about the kiddenz with increasing frequency. We miss them.

*Sorry to all those who are in Edmonton that we won't be seeing. We're only here for one night and then gone again. Hopefully, I'll see you all soon enough.

I walked around downtown Vancouver by myself last night for the first time. I made it to the restaurant I was meeting a friend at and back to the Skytrain by myself. I even walked around Robson a bit on my own. Then I made it back to M&K's place. I was very pleased.

Cheruby and I had a nap before K got home so that we would be able to play games when he got home. And play games we did - two final games of Puerto Rico in fact. I finally won a game of Puerto Rico. We played 5 or 6 games of it over the days we were in Vancouver. I really love that game. There is less of a competition on a turn basis as no one really knows what the score is until the end of the game. It was a little disappointing that I could only win when the other two players were so completely tired that they were making themselves giddy with counting errors, but you know, I'll take what I can get.

We got a later than desirable start. I'm not really shocked that 7:30 leave time didn't happen. We ended up starting our exit from Vancouver at 9 a.m. It took us over 45 minutes to leave the greater Vancouver area. I've decided that I enjoy the small part of Vancouver that I stayed in and visited, but all the parts surrounding that suck. Too big. Okay, maybe it's pretty and it would be okay if I had the money to live there, but I don't so it's a non-issue.

We stopped one last time at Famous Foods which pleased me. The smell was overwhelming, but I really enjoyed the selection. They had different stuff and lots of it is organic. Cheruby says you can get a lot of the brands at Steephill Co-op in Saskatoon, but I've never been so I wouldn't know.

I got surprisingly freaked out by the drive north in the Fraser Valley. It was so high up and close to the edge, that I couldn't really look forward to enjoy the view. I could only look backward. It was a good thing Cheruby was driving for that part.

It was a long drive. There was another blizzard in between Blue River and Valemount, but it was worse because it was in the dark. However, we had a few cool things happen on the drive.

• There was a very large herd of bighorn sheep.
• We didn't die in the storm when a semi drove down the middle of the road and came a little too close to us for comfort.
  
• The snow covered trees were soooo pretty even in the dark.
• Cheruby and I each got a short nap.
• McGriddles for breakfast were yummy. (Don't judge!)
• Controlled bonfires on the side of the road close to Jasper were awesome.
• Lots of waterfalls and bridges and spectacular views.

We just finished a fabulous dinner at dining room in our hotel and are now enjoying the rest of our stay in Jasper before heading out to Edmonton tomorrow.

It seems like forever since we left home and we won't be there for another 4 days. I miss the cats. I know they are cared for but that's not the same as being there.

I feel like my first personal trip to Vancouver (besides the one I took with my parents and being a recalcitrant teenager) isn't quite what I wanted it to be. It certainly isn't at all like my other trips.

After talking about feeling free from plans on Monday, I realized that I hadn't bothered to check to see if I knew anyone here that I would like to see and spend time with. And I do - several people. I feel a bit like a jerk for not making arrangements with them before I got here. Before yesterday. Chances are I won't see either of them which kind of sucks a lot. I would have dearly loved to see Rob. I think there's still a little hope to see D2, but [le sigh] that might not happen either.

That isn't to say it has been bad. I've been walking and laughing and having fun and playing games and watching movies. We did some shopping and started thinking about what to get people for Christmas. By the time we get home, there will only be 38 days until Christmas. And really, even though I have to work on Monday, December 24, it'll be like a 5 day weekend for Christmas which will be very awesome and cool. So many people will be in Saskatoon for Christmas and I'm especially looking forward to having Bne around for a while.

So, today, Cheruby is going to visit a talent agency in person. He's a lot anxious about it, but not because he thinks they'll tell him to go away. He has no idea what he'll do if they let him in! I know he'll do fine. I'm so proud of him.

After that little trip, we're going to head down to Granville Island for a bit. Cheruby needs just one more dose of nostalgia before we head out tomorrow morning. And I want to see all the pretties.

I'd like to thank Stiller and Matt for their hospitality in letting us stay in their home and spending all their free time with us being awesome.

Kevin Stiller, who grew up in Saskatoon with Cheruby, has been in much, much more than just what's shown in IMDB although mostly television extras. The most notable of movies was X-Men 3 where he was a soldier and got to be on the Alcatraz set. For TV he's been on Smallville, Stargate Atlantis, Battlestar Galactica*, and other cool shows filmed in Vancouver. However, this far from defines Kevin. I first met Kevin while playing in Saskatoon by Night. He was a Malkavian and it suited him quite well. We didn't become friends at that time as I was a little weirded out by all the Malkavians, but he seemed one of the more sane ones out of character. We have many friends in common, but are only now getting to know each other.

Kevin is tall, lanky, and balding. That doesn't detract from his natural charisma of which he has an abundance. He often tricks me with his false naivety which just makes him more charming. I couldn't possibly ever get upset with Kevin for anything because he has the best intentions and looks like a hurt puppy whenever he thinks he's genuinely done something wrong no matter how small the thing. His innocent demeanor belies the experience that his years must have given him. I admire that in anyone because it's not an easy thing to accomplish. Kevin is a man that is open to anything that comes his way.

Even when Kevin hates someone, and he has a rule where he feels that he should hate someone at all times so it is focused somewhere instead unfocused and therefore being spread about to everyone, it seems a little hard to believe because of the innocence in his eyes. How could someone this seemingly kind hate anyone? Those who refrain from using common sense and go against his idealistic views seem to garner his wrath and become the epitome of those aspects he loathes. I still wouldn't be sure if he's kidding even if he were to say, "I'm not kidding."

Matt Risling, on the other hand, is rather reserved and aloof. He is Cheruby's best friend and therefore, I am trying to get to know him as Cheruby has done with all my friends. That isn't to say it's a chore, it's just that I mightn't have tried otherwise due to his aloofness and his cuteness. He's got great style and is someone I view as "cool." He's quite polite and I think judges those around him before letting himself open up. But even then, he is still quite reserved.

He whomped all the other players during the games we played on Sunday night. I chose to refrain from playing one game due to my desire to not become competitive. Matt called on me for assistance during one of the games I wasn't playing as I had played before and he wasn't quite sure what was happening. Being asked for help, of course, is what me feel really great. I gave him what I thought was all the information for the decisions he needed to make and still let him make the decisions. I was distracted by work for most of the time so it was easier for me to be removed from the play. I didn't get anxious when he was battling like I would if I had been involved. It was the best of both worlds for me.

For work, Matt works as a teacher for ESL students. He doesn't have his certification, but does have an English degree and has been to film school. He is a connoisseur of movies in that he is very critical of them. If there is a movie that passes his critical eye, he usually really likes it. It seems that there is very little middle ground for movies with Matt. His annoyance come from much subtler things that a bottle of whiskey moving to difference spots on the table in the same scene without anyone touching it. I like that things like that don't bother him as much as it seems to bother others. I also like that he doesn't judge me for just wanting to be entertained by movies and not needing to have them be thought-evoking to be enjoyable as some movie snobs.

Over the past few days with these guys, I've enlightened by conversations about how good bowling is to watch on TV, how to make poker fit into a sports network lineup, cringe humour, subject-verb agreement issues with the word 'media,' and a host of movie-related topics.

And lastly, I met my first have-nots as their roommate is one. No different than any other human beings except that they truly aren't comfortable in their own skin.

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*Season 4 is now rumoured to be airing in early April next year. Ggrrr...

Being in a place where I don't really know my way around usually leaves me feeling a little uneasy. Being on vacation without a plan of what I want to do while away from home usually leaves me feeling a little out of sorts. Worrying about work that needs to be done usually leaves me feeling a little stressed at all times.

So far Cheruby and I have played games, watched "Flight of the Conchords," gone out of the house for food, worked for a couple hours, and slept while in Vancouver. Two days of those activities and I'm okay with that.

We talked about going to Lynn Canyon, but nothing was set. We also talked about Stanley Park and possibly the Aquarium, but I'm not set on either. Having no expectations before we set out has been weird for me because I like to plan things to get the most out of my time. One downfall is that I just remembered that a friend of mine lives here and I would dearly like to see him. It might not happen, but I'm really hoping it does.

This lack of planning is finally settling in and I'm really okay with it. I'm relaxed and have no expectations of myself or anyone else. I may not have as many things crossed off a to-do list, which might make me feel like I'm wasting my time here, but I'm relaxing and being myself and being happy. I don't know that I could ask for more.

Now that the feeling of freedom has set in a little, I'm not totally looking forward to some of my commitments that I did make over the next two days that we're here. They are flexible, but people are still counting on me to follow through. Not having people expect things of me is so freeing, if only for a little while.

We got a later start than we'd wanted because I missed my alarm going off. It's not that loud or persistent. So we got 75 minutes of extra sleep. Bne got up with us and so we chatted a little. And then Ferlak was up before we left so I got to hug my guys once more before leaving.

A short stop for gas and breakie and we were off. And here are the highlights of the trip because twelve hours of driving might get boring for you to read about.

1. Very little traffic at that hour of the morning. Snow-boarders apparently like to sleep in on Saturdays.


2. Cheruby and I discussed the fact that we are completely spoiled by knowing mountains as the Rocky Mountains. A lot of the world pictures mountains as very large tree-covered hills. They do not know the majesty that is the Rockies. Just another reason why Canada is so wonderful.


3. We were mooned by a big horn sheep - nothing but ass. We had to ponder what the hell that thing was for a quite a while before recognition set in.


4. The curvy road just before Golden was great. (Interesting Part #1 according to Cheruby.) It brought back some fabulous Crash Team Racing memories. Music I know and like and can sing along with is such a great comfort during times of intense driving. There is a lot of speculation and research being done to determine of music affects us, but it's all in scientific journals that I would have to pay to access.


5. There was enough wet (rain and big fat snowflakes, no slush on the roads) before Golden that we decided that we needed new wiper blades for the car. This was an item that didn't make it to a to-do list and so was forgotten. I was the hero here. Cheruby even admitted he likely wouldn't have had the guts to ruin the other wiper blade holders to get them off the car so that we could put the new ones on. He really was in awe when I had the new ones on so quickly after deciding I'd tried everything but mangling them to get them off.


6. Snow grater in between Golden and Revelstoke in Roger's Pass because of all the big fat snowflakes gracing us with their presence. It was so beautiful and magical. I let Cheruby deal with the slushy roads and kept my mind occupied with writing for my blog. (Interesting Part #2)


7. The blat of the slush being thrown against the windshield from oncoming large trucks was fun even if momentarily blinding us.


8. We saw an SUV in the ditch facing the opposite direction he was going on the opposite side of the road. The driver was fine and on his cell so there was no need to stop. The grater was just moments away.


9. Fog in the mountain tops and just hanging out by the side of the road help with creating the magical beautiful of this place. British Columbia really is the best place in the world.


10. Waterfalls and little trickles of water through the rocks right beside the car after coming down from the summit of Roger's Pass was awesome. I've always thought so.


11. There is a castle with a dragon and turrets and everything between Revelstoke and Salmon Arm that, while being a tourist trap, makes me very happy to drive by.


12. The tunnels on the side of the mountain are just another reminder that we are truly in a different place.


13. Cattle in the middle of the mountains?!?! It just seems like a bad idea.


14. After driving through winter in the mountains, we come out the other side to find it still fall in Salmon Arm.


15. From Salmon to Kamloops was pretty, but boring.


16. The Coquihalla got interesting (Interesting Part #3) with the wet in the dark and the constantly going downhill at great speeds. Cheruby was driving during the first downhill part in Roger's Pass so I didn't realize how frightening it was.


17. We stopped at a Rest Area at Hope to switch drivers and headed out for the final stretch.


18. Frightened Cheruby by introducing the idea of a thin line of light that would appear for mere moments across the road, but everyone who drove into that line would disappear, teleported through time and space, and there would be very few witnesses and no one would know what the hell happened.


19. There was a 45 minute delay just before the bridge coming into Vancouver for no real discernable reason. I managed to keep Cheruby distracted from his increasing rage through kisses and Christmas carols and making up stories and names for people in other cars.


20. Fun finding the address in Vancouver and then, and then, shots of rum! And then more rum. And then cider. And then beer. And then wine.

The whole drive didn't seem that long. The good weather for most of it helped as did the lack of other drivers. And I am very pleased to announce that my iPod made it all the way to Vancouver from Saskatoon (16 hours) without any charging and it's barely into the red on the battery gauge. I love my iPod.