Holding It Together

I'm tired of trying to see the best in things so I'm going to take up the next 15 minutes of my life whining and complaining and woe-is-me-ing.

The person I count on the most in Saskatoon is leaving. I hate it. It sucks @$$. I don't want him to go and I just want to scream. Yes, I know the other side of this story so I don't want to hear it.

I had a member of my team return to work on Wednesday. She was told Monday to start when I was told Wednesday and so when I talked to her last Friday, she had to take two extra days vacation that she hadn't been planning on it. Then I had no idea that I had to request for her to be reactivated and because I didn't find out until 4 p.m. on her first day back, she still hasn't had access to her email or anything else on her computer because she's had no access. So I finally filled out the form which needed three managers' approvals and it took all day for those approvals. GAH!!! I'm just very frustrated with it all. And then there's the petty bull that goes on in every office from here to Timbuktu. Why can't everyone just be adults and learn that seeing the good parts of someone instead of focussing on the three awful things that drive you crazy. GAH!!!

I'm just making it through each day long enough to get home so I don't have to hold it all in anymore.

And in truth, things are good, really good. I'm loving my qigong that I'm taking with another friend. I've got a great house and although I need a roommate, I'm really enjoying living alone. I have fantastic friends and wonderful family and the most fabulous boyfriend. And this isn't just me looking for the positive and forcing myself to see it - I am truly blessed in my life. I just had a bad couple days.

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neuba said...

It is good that you can see some positive. I know what it is like when things 'just suck.' The best thing to do is just plug away, knowing that it will eventually get better.

And that really sucks that he is going to be moving. No more Earthdawn I suppose, that sucks.

cenobyte said...

Maybe you did have a bad couple of days, but I'm pretty sure you're right about all of it. All those people are assholes, except for the ones you like. And the assholes you don't like can all go live in Europe or something where they all play pool in undershirts. I've met some of the people you've worked with; I know.

And you know what else?

If I had a billion dollars, or even only a million dollars, I'd be very tempted to spend it all on black licorice candies so I could share them with you, even if you didn't like black licorice candies, and I suppose I could go and buy a few, because really, who could eat a million dollars worth of black licorice and not DIE on the spot? But that's not the point. Because if I had a million bucks to spend on something as frivoulous as black licorice candy, I'd buy you a very sturdy new vehicle so you could go and visit whoever it is who's leaving (damn his eyes) because it's not fair when friends make you cry by doing nothing more than bettering their own lives. I mean really, it's about ME, people. ME.

...I mean...it's about SUZ, people. SUZ!

carla said...

I often have the urge to just explode, to let all my anxiety and frustration have free rain. It just builds and builds and then I sorta freak out, always at inanimate objects it would seem (poor lap top, digital imaging projects, furniture, and any objects that make a good crash if I throw them) . . . so here is something for you to laugh at.
My old roomies often witnessed what I'll term "the event of carla trying to find her keys". I was rampaging through the house, tossing cushions off of chairs and dumping out bookbags and purses and even my junk drawer, when I stubbed my toe. It was absolutely my rushing about that caused it too. I just broke and the swear words and volume were apparently very impressive because one of the roomies ran down from up stairs to make sure I had not broken a leg or seriously injured myself. Said roomie then got a grin on her face, realized that laughing at me would be a very bad idea, said, "your keys are on top of the tv", and then walked away quickly to avoid the storm. I think the look on my face must have been more than comical.

Hope this week is better for you. Perhaps we can hang out in the next few days. C and K and H are going to be in town this coming weekend (11th and 12th), although I haven't heard what their plans are yet. H is a year old now.

Suz said...

Thanks, guys. I felt better immediately after posting. Still feeling better about it all, actually. And that's good.

Like I said, I have fantastic friends.

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I'm quirky, confident and happy. My friends say I'm generous, warm, reliable, and dependable. My mom, dad, and angel say I'm beautiful. I'm not perfect, but that makes me human.

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    • From the Neck Up by Denise Dreher

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