To Bed Early

It's a good thing I went to bed early. Now, I don't feel guilty about having stayed up for three or four additional hours reading blogs. And it was bad of me. I was lurking, actually. Lurking in Cheruby's ex's blog and in Granola Girl's blog. It's there for the world to read so I don't feel guilty about that either, but it still feels vaguely wrong.

I thought I'd settled my thoughts about her and now, I've had to come down a notch from my high horse. Looking at things from just your own perspective and not wanting to think about it from someone else's is wrong. I mean, the only perspective I knew was that of what Cheruby told me and nothing from her own mouth. There was always a filter. Not so with her blog - I'm reading her thoughts directly. It's hard to stay focused when I can finally see her as a real person. I really hate being wrong.

So, what I learned was that her friends love her dearly and you don't get to have friends like that if you don't earn them. And that forced me to face reality and see that even though she hurt my angel, he hurt her too. Nothing is ever completely one-sided unless your arguing with furniture and even then, the coffee table may have jumped out to bash your shin to get back at you for the water stain. On the plus side, these good realizations about her put me in a spot to fear her again and I didn't. She doesn't have any, well not very much, power over my angel anymore. Not as more than a friend anyway and I whole-hearted support that one because he still cares about her. She's important to him and therefore, important to me. I really don't see it outside the realm of possibility to actually become friends with her at some point in the future.

Everyone gets a little crazy when it comes to the one they love, right?

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Drang said...

Some people (like Bne) have professed absolute confusion about my being friends with some of my exes. I think that, ironically, it might be interesting for you and my wife to talk about the weirdness of significant others' exes, as I know that it is odd for her sometimes, although I don't really know the details of those thoughts ('cause I never really asked).

Weird. And ironic. Anyhoo, stay healthy.

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I'm quirky, confident and happy. My friends say I'm generous, warm, reliable, and dependable. My mom, dad, and angel say I'm beautiful. I'm not perfect, but that makes me human.

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    • Rune Factory Frontier (Wii)
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    • Arkham Asylum (BG)
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    • Smallworld (BG)
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    • The Silver Chair by C.S. Lewis
    • What to Expect When You're Expecting by Murkoff
    • From the Neck Up by Denise Dreher

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