My Wifebeaters

When referring to the white tank top that white trash folk usually wear for weeks on end in the smelly sweaty summer, is it one word or two?

wife beater
I saw it as two and got a little alarmed and didn't want to freak out Auntie Cool or my mom that I was talking about someone who beats his/her wife. Although, that is the pejorative that's embedded in the term, isn't it? Okay, disclaimer before I start talking to ensure I'm not offending anyone.

I ain't talkin' 'bout you. That just ain't the kind of thing you'd do. More than once. Okay, twice. A day.

Good, now, I finally got me a pair of wifebeaters. I was thrilled wehn I found them and then got the package home to find two in the package! Suckers are so stupid that they put two in the same package and I got it! It works out perfectly cuz when I'm wearing one, I can have the boy wash the other one. Sometimes it takes a while, but it's worth it. The sweet smell of sweat that drives them animals wild! I can't tell you how much the fat one loooves rolling in a sweaty stinky shirt. Gets him more riled than a pile o' the nip. Since we got his knackers snipped, it's the most fun he gets. Gotta give him something.

*Please note that this was very difficult for me to write because I feel like I'm being mean and I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings. It's just a joke. Please don't be mad. I think the worst part is that TUO (and Bne) are laughing at me right now and thinking of a thousand different ways to mock me and I deserve it. I still like those pants though.[sigh]

I have to say that my wifebeaters are very, very comfortable. I love them. They are just great for wearing to bed, wearing around the house when no one expected over, wearing while cleaning, and the fact that they are a little see through and you can pretty much see my goods, makes Cheruby loves them too. And when I poke outside for a half a moment to get the mail out of mailbox, I got the love (or shock and horror) of a neighbour girl too.

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cenobyte said...

My I mock you also?

I believe the word may also be hyphenated thus:


Try wearin' that puppy for a few days 'n then rubbin' yerself with mustard 'n barbecue sawce. But be careful! Girls bin known to get theirselves hitched when puttin out the scent ta th'boys like that.

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